In condo disputes over barking dogs, what is the conflict really about? What are the unmet needs that are at the root of the problem?
It's probably about unit owners' and non-owners' needs for peace and calm and the ability to freely enjoy their home. And it's owners' and non-owners' needs for affection and companionship and possibly safety .
These are the needs both sides in this kind of dispute are trying to get met--alas, unsuccessfully.
But these two sets of needs are not in contradiction. There is no conflict between these needs. It's the strategies for getting the needs met that are in conflict. Not the needs themselves. They are always fully compatible. They just seem incompatible.
What really bugs me about loud continuous barking upstairs when it's happened in my condo building or any continuous or regular noise is the sense that these people just don't care about my needs. They let their dog bark or play their loud music or have their party regardless of my needs. My needs don't matter.
In conflict, it's this additional interpretation that causes the extra pain above and beyond what's happening itself: the dog barks all the time and, it seems to me, if I don't like it, tough luck.
The conflict will turn unproductive very quickly when you express your needs with judgments about how wrong the other person is, how insensitive they are, they should know how uncomfortable it is for you to have this noise in your life. And they're violating the rules and regulations, to boot.
Focusing and both sides' needs is the key to turning simple barking dog conflict into discussions about how to find solutions that will work for the dog owner and for all of the neighbors as well.
It's probably about unit owners' and non-owners' needs for peace and calm and the ability to freely enjoy their home. And it's owners' and non-owners' needs for affection and companionship and possibly safety .
These are the needs both sides in this kind of dispute are trying to get met--alas, unsuccessfully.
But these two sets of needs are not in contradiction. There is no conflict between these needs. It's the strategies for getting the needs met that are in conflict. Not the needs themselves. They are always fully compatible. They just seem incompatible.
What really bugs me about loud continuous barking upstairs when it's happened in my condo building or any continuous or regular noise is the sense that these people just don't care about my needs. They let their dog bark or play their loud music or have their party regardless of my needs. My needs don't matter.
In conflict, it's this additional interpretation that causes the extra pain above and beyond what's happening itself: the dog barks all the time and, it seems to me, if I don't like it, tough luck.
The conflict will turn unproductive very quickly when you express your needs with judgments about how wrong the other person is, how insensitive they are, they should know how uncomfortable it is for you to have this noise in your life. And they're violating the rules and regulations, to boot.
Focusing and both sides' needs is the key to turning simple barking dog conflict into discussions about how to find solutions that will work for the dog owner and for all of the neighbors as well.
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